DeDe SNAP Blog | See New Achievable Possibilities

Change Before You SNAP

What is your life trying to tell you? Change before you SNAP!

DeDe_Murcer_Moffett_Keynote_Speaker_Leadership

“What Could You Accomplish If You Kicked Your Box to the Curb?” Leadership & Professional Development Keynotes and Workshops

Living in your box—or even “just” bargaining with it—is dangerous. Sometimes your box slowly sucks the life out of you through disengagement, powerlessness, and hopelessness. Other times, being boxed-in causes you to engage in destructive decisions and behaviors that send you heading straight for the edge of a cliff (and a fiery crash at the bottom). Either way, when your box is calling the shots life will send you wake up calls saying, This isn’t the path you should be on! Wake the hell up and turn around while you still can!

I can predict with a very high degree of certainty that you’ll want to ignore life’s wake-up calls. After all, change forces us toward the unfamiliar and the unknown. It’s usually disruptive and difficult. Sometimes it’s downright painful. And it’s always stressful and risky. (Ummm…aren’t those all of the things you were trying to avoid by living in your box in the first place? Of course they are!)

So I get it. I understand why you’d want to smash your phone, pull the covers over your head, and keep living your less than happy, sometimes crappy, numbed-out life. I did just that for over 24 years. Life sent me many wake-up calls in the form of unhealthy relationships, nights I couldn’t remember because I was blackout drunk, and a grinding sense of unhappiness I couldn’t shake. I refused to acknowledge every single alarm…

…Until I got a wake-up call so loud that ignoring it was more painful than answering. When Rick called off our engagement because of my drinking, I knew I had gone too far. The best thing to happen to me in decades was slipping out of my reach. Was I at rock bottom? I don’t know. I sometimes think we can ride our boxes all the way to our deaths. (And thank goodness, I’m still here to tell you my story.) But I was in enough pain to know that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life living with this particular regret. It was time to face what I had been avoiding and do the hard work of changing and rebuilding my life.

My point is, turning off your alarm will not cause any of your problems to disappear. So SNAP yourself before life snaps you!

Move Past Discomfort in a SNAP!

Move past discomfort in a SNAP! See New Achievable Possibilities.

It was inevitable that your favorite TV show would air its final episode sooner or later. Acid-washed jeans and permed hair had their day, and that day is done. The dinosaurs no longer rule the earth. Neither does the Roman Empire. Pluto even lost its place as a full-fledged planet! My point is, all things come to an end eventually—and that includes the discomfort you might be feeling right now as you take your first, second and third steps into the unknown.

In my new book; SNAP Yes! The Art of Seeing New Achievable Possibilities in Business and Life, I talk about whenever you’re tempted to consider backing off, slowing down, or throwing in the towel entirely, think back on one of your previous “big” accomplishments. How did you feel when you were pulling all-nighters to pass that one incomprehensible class you needed for your degree? When you moved halfway across the country for a new job? When you were asked to lead a project that the entire team’s jobs hinged on? When you were in the throes of surviving your kid’s terrible twos?

All of those things caused their fair share of anxiety, stress, pain, and exhaustion. But all of that discomfort is in the past now, right? And it was worthwhile, correct? SNAP Yes! Always remember that the fear you feel right now is temporary. Use your present discomfort to motivate you to keep moving forward. As you become more familiar with this new space, the less afraid of it you will be.

To move past discomfort in a SNAP, stop telling yourself scary stories.

Consider this scenario: You’re at work and your boss walks in. He doesn’t smile, doesn’t say hello, and doesn’t act like his normal friendly self. Almost immediately you go into panic mode, wondering if you’ve done something wrong. You start scanning your memory banks. Have I been too vocal about sharing my ideas for how our department can improve? Have my evening certification classes been taking more of a toll on my work than I realize? Was the woman who came into the office yesterday applying for my job? Your stomach goes into knots. You start imagining being out of work, losing your house, being laughed at by your uppity friends, and having to ask your parents for a loan. But guess what? In reality, the only thing “wrong” was that your boss was bloated and constipated!

Yeah, it’s easy to laugh at this scenario. But the truth is, we do this kind of thing to ourselves all the time! We decide for ourselves what other people “must” be thinking and why they’re “definitely” behaving a certain way. We make decisions and take actions based on what we’re afraid might happen in the future. We also allow our interpretation of the past (which may or may not be accurate) to determine our current outlooks and attitudes. We torture ourselves by reliving past mistakes and regrets.

What I’m saying is, the stories we tell ourselves are very powerful. Almost singlehandedly, your thoughts have the ability to make an action step feel empowering or burdensome. They have the power to make others’ reactions seem crippling or easy to take in stride. They make new possibilities seem achievable or like long shots. So take action and move past discomfort in a SNAP! Your success depends on it.

Can I get a SNAP Yes!?

How to Regain Lost Credibility

CREDIBILITY

So, you’ve made a serious mistake that has impacted the lives of several of your closest friends, family members, or co-workers and now you’re worried that your credibility has taken a nose-dive. Yep that sucks. What now? Snap Out of It! As a motivational leadership speaker specializing in professional success I can assure you, this isn’t irreversible. How to regain lost credibility? It’s a SNAP if you do it right.

Grow a Pair – Own Up

Everyone makes mistakes: that’s just a part of life. If you’ve truly made an honest mistake, don’t defend it by twisting logic and reality: just own up to it. Studies have found that people regain a lot of credibility if they just own up to their mistakes. Admitting you made a mistake makes you look more mature, intelligent, and shows you’re willing to learn from your past errors to become a better person. But as a change expert I know you have to do more than just pay lip service to your mistake. You actually have to take action. Action that changes yourself and the situation.

Apologize And Mean It!

Once you’ve owned up to your mistake, contact any and all people that your mistake has impacted and make a sincere and heartfelt apology. Understandably, this may be incredibly difficult: admitting you’re wrong is difficult enough, but making amends is even harder. Get over it and get on with it.

However, a sincere apology is one of the best ways to regain credibility because it shows you understand the impact of your mistake, that you empathize with the emotions of the people affected, and that you want to mend your relationship.

Here’s how to make a sincere apology in a SNAP:

State what you did wrong.
Avoid blaming anyone else for your actions.
Omit any politician sounding apologetic phrases from your vocabulary.
Actually change your behavior. Shocker!
Shut up. Don’t keep talking about it.

After you’ve owned up to your mistake and apologized, demonstrate the changes you professed you would make. See new achievable possibilities on how to rise above this situation and how to use it to grow your brand credibility. Constantly reminding people of your mistake by repeatedly apologizing or kissing up to them only keeps you stuck and keeps the memory of the mistake forever stuck in their mind.

Focus on the the lesson you learned and use it for good. Soon, your credibility will be completely restored and your mistake a distant, and fading, memory. With the right perspective and action steps, it could turn out to be a great memory.

Have You Been Narcistruck At Work?

It comes out of nowhere making your feel lost, confused and wrong. You have just been narcistruck. Dealing with a narcissist can be mind-wrenching. Have you been narcistruck at work? You prepare your argument, thinking that you can make your point, and before you know it, the conversation has taken a completely different turn. You are so confused, you don’t even remember where you started. Don’t despair. You can learn valuable lessons from these brain twisting, energy sucking individuals.

Narcissist have many evil tools to keep you off center. Manipulating, lying, making you feel guilty, selective hearing, and, the dreaded, topic-changing rouse. In case you haven’t guessed, I’ve spent my fair share of moments at the receiving end of these techniques. And while I wouldn’t wish the full-blown diagnosis on my worst enemy, (ok just a few people) I can find some useful qualities amidst the chaos. In fact, I see how narcissists can teach us a little something about confidence and resiliency.

Think about it. Have you ever seen a narcissist that appears to be lacking in confidence? They walk around like superman! Sorry Superman I think you are great! The paradox, of course, is that a true narcissist is completely frail inside, but, on the outside, you would never know it. Unless you’re reading this and now you do! Narcissists don’t question themselves, they just assume that they are right. Wouldn’t it be refreshing to live like that? Just for a day? No not narcissistic just confident.

And then there is the issue of resiliency. Narcissists never admit defeat. EVER! They will keep fighting until the last cow on the field is back in the barn. Of course it’s the cow’s fault they got out in the first place. Never mind the narcissist left the damn gate open. To a narcissist, if there is anything left to win, his job is not done. Aren’t there times in our lives when we could use a little more of this attitude?

So, next time you get narcistruck by the overpowering and super in denial co-worker, watch how they position themselves and take a play out of their playbook to SNAP – See New Achievable Possibilities in your business and life.

Can I get a SNAP Yes!

Life Is a Performance – Step Into Your Spotlight

Life is a Performance – Step Into Your Spotlight

You can want the spotlight. You can dream of the spotlight. You can even believe you deserve the spotlight. But the only thing that is going to put you in the spotlight is a great performance!

Performance Matters

Say what you want, but the truth is, life IS a performance. No doubt you are going to have good days and bad days. Some days you will step into that lead role and absolutely kill it. Some days you’re preoccupied, not really connected to your audience and you give an average performance. And some days you totally flub your lines and get booed off the stage. Pull it together and Snap Out of It!

The Importance of Mission

The key element that creates one star performer after the other is they don’t have jobs. They have a mission. Whether you are an actor, administrative assistant, writer, or a CEO, in order to give the performance of your life day after day after day you must have a mission. Yes you have a job to do but top performers see way past the job. The best of the best know exactly how their talents and abilities can and will change the game or change the bottom line for a company. They don’t play down their importance and they are willing to step into their own spotlight with courage and confidence.

Never Apologize For Greatness

Not everyone is going to win the best actress or best actor category. In real life everyone does not get a trophy for just showing up. The world is extremely competitive. But if you want to put yourself in the running to be recognized as a top performer, then never apologize for your greatness. Accept your talents, own your creativity, use your knowledge and grow your network. You bet your sweet cheeks life is a performance. So find your spotlight and give us a performance that matters. Can I get a Snap Yes?

How Women Succeed Faster

How do women succeed faster? There are many articles written on this subject and no one has “the” answer but I will share with you what’s worked in my life in hopes it will help you in yours.

Women in business often face a steep road, even in today’s relatively enlightened environment. They have to constantly prove their worth in a realm dominated by men. This is especially true of women entrepreneur’s. However, if you follow these tips, you will truly make an impact and achieve long-lasting success.

1. Don’t Do Work That Bores You

We all have passions: every single one of us. Some of us love to sing and dance, while others are passionate about protecting the environment. Think about your passions and ask yourself: “What can I bring to my passion that no one else can?”

For example, if you were a dancer in high school, maybe you could invest in a struggling dance company and help get it back on its feet. Break out of the dull cold world of entrepreneurship by doing something you love!

2. Work Smarter Than Everyone Else

The unfortunate reality about succeeding as a woman is that you must do more work than men. In a patriarchal society, women are expected to go above-and-beyond men to prove their worth. Don’t let this bring you down: approach it like a dare and leave your competitors in the dust.

For example, if you are working on your dance company, you could not only purchase the company, but you could also help them create dance routines, buy new uniforms, meet with the dancers, and ingratiate yourself into their work. This extra step helps give your company and your work the extra “oomph” you need to succeed.

3. Avoid Being Too Serious

Women in business constantly fight against negative perception by men, especially the concept that they are “too cold” or “emotional” about their work. This is a crap trap: you have to work hard to prove yourself, but then you’re perceived as too bitchy or too weak! How can you break out of this crappy trap?

Que the laughter. For example, if you’re visiting your dance company, don’t be afraid to crack a joke or two with everyone there. Have fun. And leave work at work: don’t stay up all night worried about your business. While you want your work to be a huge part of your life, don’t allow it to take over. No one reached the end of their life and said “damn I wish I would have worked more hours!”

These tips are just a small example of how women can succeed faster. It’s a SNAP when you remember you deserve success!

How Teams Go From Good to Great

DeDe’s niece, Jessi Murcer

A team, as defined by the dictionary, is a group of people working together. At some point in our lives, we have all been part of a team. To take your team from good to great, it is important to not only understand the skills a good team possesses but you must be willing to implement those skills too.

Leadership
First and foremost a team must have a leader. What is a leader? A leader is the touchstone and heart of the team. A leader fosters great communication, organization, respect, trust and accelerates an attitude and a path for victory. Leaders must exude confidence and an attitude that commands respect even when they themselves are afraid and under tremendous pressure. Leaders must have the stamina and courage to make tough decisions to erratic attitudes and or behaviors from inside and outside the team that cripple drive and create dissention.

Leaders must be ever mindful of how they are being viewed by their team. The success of a team will be determined by the daily actions and expectations of their leader.

Communication
A cohesive team allows for open communication. This gives each member a voice, making everyone feel included. Withholding information or not adding your voice to the team can cause you to appear withdrawn detached or even viewed as a slacker. Speak up, add to the conversation allowing your unique voice be heard.

Organization
A smart team will organize themselves to best use each member’s unique talents. Each member should know and understand their role in the group. Jealousy among members only serves to diminish time, talent and energy and will eventually destroy what could be an excellent team.

Respect
Respect is one of the most important aspects of a team. Without respect, all of the other concepts fail to exist. Respect means that members should feel comfortable and safe with their team. Great teams do not allow gossip, divisiveness or self-serving attitudes to fester from inside our outside the team. Be willing to look honestly at your motives and actions toward your teammates and make the necessary changes that enhance your value as a vital team member.

Trust
With respect comes trust, which has a huge impact on the success of the group. Each member must trust their teammates to uphold their responsibilities. Once trust is gone fear, anger and chaos begin to erode enthusiasm and excitement from even the most talented of teams. Are you a trustworthy team player?

United Goal
Every team has a purpose. A team that together defines a clear goal with their heart and mind squarely focused on that purpose or goal will be significantly more successful. Consciously strive to eradicate any and all distractions that hinder the possibility of success to utilize and unite your efforts to win.

Celebration
As a team there is never one winner. Each member is a vital part of the success of a team. It’s important to not only celebrate the large achievements, but also all the small accomplishments along the way. Celebrating as a team brings members closer together forming deep bonds based on shared experiences and makes continued success not only more desirable but also increasingly more possible.

Take your team from good to great. Create a positive environment where communication, organization, respect, and celebration bring you to successfully execute and reach a united goal. Help your team commit to a higher and more conscious level of performance and work together to See New Achievable Possibilities in business and life.

How Successful Women Rekindle Their Fire

For thousands of years, every culture on the Earth has recognized the importance of fire. In both the physical and spiritual realm, fire has the ability to burn away that which isn’t necessary and is superfluous. It also combines, melds and strengthens that which is essential. Our inner fire is the primary driver of both our determination and our inspiration, which are two key abilities that every successful leader needs. Fire transforms everything that it touches and changes it, igniting passion, bringing clarity and increasing focus. Here’s how successful women rekindle their fire.

They Understand the Importance of Burning Brightly

Maintaining their inner fire can be a challenge for most women in business simply because they are so busy trying to fill so many roles in both their daily and professional lives. Sadly, many women fall victim to traps and blocks that sap their energy and drain their power until their inner fire dwindles and threatens to die out.

Without a healthy inner fire, women run the real risk of getting bogged down and diverted off the track of finding their true calling and purpose. Without an inner fire that burns strongly, they lose the strength to make the tough, but wise choices that will enable them to take ownership and lead in their personal and professional lives.

Having a powerful inner flame that shines brightly calls attention to each woman’s individual talents and specific skills. It sets each woman apart from her peers, whether they are male or female, and helps them earn the trust and respect that they need to rise to the next level of leadership.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, bored, lost, frustrated, confused, overwhelmed, or misdirected, as though your life is missing something, but you aren’t quite sure what that something is or how to find it, chances are great that you’ve let the challenges in your daily life distract you from feeding your inner fire.

The good news is that even if your inner fire has dwindled down to just the faintest spark, you don’t have to continue going through your days without it. You can rekindle it and bring it roaring back to life again and use its power to reignite your passion and find your purpose!

Catch Fire Again and Stoke the Flames with These Tips

Practice letting go. Still holding on to grudges and nursing old wounds? Hanging on to anger and resentment is literally like pouring cold water over your inner fire. This is because each of us tends to put our best efforts and energy into whatever it is that we happen to focus our attention on.

Change your focus by letting go of past mistakes and hurts, whether the pain comes from something that someone else did, or is the result of an error on your part.

Forgiveness releases your energy. It is literally like blowing air onto your flame so that it has room to grow and burn brighter and hotter and bring something new, and better into your present and future.

Be grateful. Having a grateful attitude is not about being in denial about the reality of a situation. It’s also not about settling. It’s not allowing the thought that just because things could be worse doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve something better.

Having gratitude is practicing being thankful. It is making the conscious effort to look for the positive aspect of any situation and counting your blessings.

Just as anger and resentment for past mistakes and wrongs can hold you back if you allow your attention to rest there, focusing on the negative aspect of things that happen in your day to day life starves your inner fire. You can feed your fire and build it up by getting into the habit of literally counting your blessings each day.

As you practice looking for the positive in all situations, use the burst of energy that you receive from this to increase your stamina and renew your determination. Stoking your inner fire not only builds your endurance and resolve, it provides the fuel for proactive change.

Stock up on fire starters Has your inner fire grown so dim and cold that you worry it’s gone out? To build your fire back you will need more fuel, and some firestarters!

Take a good look at every aspect of your life and the people and things that are in it, and ask yourself the following questions.

Do you have people and things in your life that add to it?
What are some simple things that bring a smile to your face?
Who do you know in your circle that can brighten any room simply by walking into it?
Do you have at least one person that you can count on to lift you up when times are difficult?
Do you have a list of things that you do each day that build your spirit?
Once you’ve answered these questions, work on incorporating more of the things that bring you joy into your daily life and seek out people that will help to build your energy rather than drain it.

Surrounding yourself with things that bring meaning and purpose into your life, and people that build you up rather than tear you down, adds fuel to the embers of your flame so that it doesn’t die out.

Can I get a SNAP Yes?

How to Handle Criticism It’s Critical

Why is it that 100 people can tell you that you have done a marvelous job, then one person makes a negative comment about you or your work and you fall to your knees screaming “Why why, why!” We really must Snap Out of It!

If you have ever wanted to be a speaker, a singer, actress, painter, teacher, CEO, mechanic or politician (God forbid) you better learn how to handle criticism it’s critical. Fail to practice the steps to step away from criticism and you will live a small and miserable life! Don’t let these critical creatures push you away from your goals and dreams.
Snap Out of It!

So how do you deal with the inevitable naysayers and ego slayers? It takes some critical thinking on your part. That means don’t allow your mind and feelings to be swept away by their negative comments. Instead take action. Stop, snap and think about it.

1. What’s the Ratio?
If you have eight “great jobs” and two “you suck” forget it. If I’ve learned one thing from being a speaker, entertainer and TV and radio personality, you will NEVER please everyone. I’ve tried and it drastically derailed my dreams. The truth is some people are defined by what they don’t like instead of what they do like. Those people suck, not you.

2. What’s the Type?
Constructive criticism says “I didn’t like that but what if you tweaked it like this?” That’s information you can work with and change if you so desire. But criticism that is hateful and mean isn’t useful and it’s more about the critics internal pain or inability to be happy than it is about you.

3. What’s the Context?
Remember that people push back and are critical of things that scare or threaten them. Were you pushing a personal or professional boundary for the critic? Were you causing them to think or feel in a way that their beliefs reject? Remember boxed in people like lots of company inside the box. Snap Out of It!

4. What’s the Cost?
If you don’t Snap Out of It and continue to listen to those critical people, eventually you will convince yourself that you are wrong and they are right. You will increase your fear of being ostracized and you will lose your self-confidence and courage. You will sit down, shut up and play small. You will lose out on opportunities that are yours for the taking.
Is their opinion worth the cost of your happiness and success?

You are going to be criticized today, tomorrow or sometime in the near future. So before you decide to give up on your goal or dream remember it’s critical that you take action now. Instead of running your why, why, why story, run through steps 1-4 and you will – See New Achievable Possibilities in your business and life in a SNAP!

Can I get a SNAP Yes?… Can I get a SNAP Yes!

Leadership – An Attribute Not a Position

Leadership is an attribute not position in which one is responsible for management of a group or team. We see leaders as company owners, managers, teachers, politicians and many others who we look to for direction and training. However, leadership is not always a position but also an attribute of individuals that are not the top dog in the group or even in the leader position. Leadership is a factor that is found at every level of a workplace or environment. There are individuals that exude leadership that may not realize it or feel as if they are in a position to act upon it.

Leaders are the individuals who provide the direction to those under them and prevent chaos by providing structure. Without leadership, individuals feel unfocused, less enthusiastic and often unproductive which can lead to everyone going their own direction. Being a leader is not just about being the one to give orders; it is about providing the support, guidance, direction and information necessary for the success of everyone. However, while these individuals are leaders, the other levels within an organization have leaders among them, some of which might not know they are or are not given the opportunity to step up. The role of Administrative Assistant is considered a position of assistant and not leadership, however, when given empowerment, these individuals take on leadership qualities to assist the team and ensure the project is moving forward and sometimes even giving directions.

Leadership is not just for a power positions, leadership at all levels is necessary for the success for all those involved. Those at various levels will at times find themselves in a leadership position as they take on tasks assigned to them and work with others to complete the task. Empowerment of employees allows them the freedom and confidence to take on leadership roles that in turn benefit the company in its accomplishments. Leadership is an attribute, not a position.

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